I hear the alarm finally stop, and then the lights come on. In the morning, three nurses come in; it is 4:30 am. The nurses look hyper-happy and laugh as they clean the beds and tend to the patients. They look like they have partied all night. As they work, they talk about how strong the women are and how no one can stop what is happening. They say that soldiers are trying to break into the hospital, but the hospital has machines to keep them out and a second line of defense further away to resist any attack.
As I listen to them discussing their triumph over *rattos*, I realize I had better get rid of the memory knots. They might think it is sorcery or anti-religious. As a nurse picks up things from my tray table, I casually give her the memory knots (wet with urine from my bed) and say, oh, this also. She takes it and dumps it in the biohazard. Torina witnesses this and tries to intervene, but she ignores him. Why is Torino so interested in my memory knots? Was he making another plot? The same nurse goes to get a paper towel, and as she realizes there are no more paper towels, she stands there frozen for 5 minutes, like she cannot decide what to do next.
When the nurses leave, Torino tells the Argentinian to act as if nothing happened. I wonder what happened outside the hospital. Was this event of people going crazy something that only occurred here in the hospital? Torino says we must be very cheerful and thank the hospital staff for everything, or they will switch to crazy again. The attendants who take out the dirty linens and biohazard trash come by and act like they are still angry, tossing things into bags and savagely shoving the items they remove out into the hallway.
I am still shaking, but when the doctor comes by and asks how I am – I say I am fine and smile.
The food that comes by today is not of good quality and is cold. The oxygen is not coming out of the wall outlet. When the doctor comes by, and I say there is no oxygen, he tells me that there is – I see it is not and begin to say something, but Torino shakes his head for me to stop – the doctor says to keep the cannula on. After the terrifying night, I could read that my oxygen level had decreased on the monitor to 82.
Afternoon: A new patient bed is put next to me, and it is a man from China – intubated. He has a special bed and a large machine. I cannot see him because of all the equipment – only his legs and I can hear his voice when he talks to the nurses after they remove the tube; he speaks perfect English. I hear the nurses remove the tube several times over the next few days. And the disgusting abuse! Everyone makes it plain that they do not like this Chinese man. Why was an intubated patient put into the recovery room next to me? Another attempt to scare me?
The Argentinian and Torino are plotting to blow up the room. They talk the cousin into actually doing the plot of lighting something on fire next to an opened oxygen tank. I am not included in their little scheme. During the evening, before our night medicine was dispensed, Torino got a nurse (apparently a friend of his) to give him an extra bottle of alcohol, and his cousin got some bits of paper to light. Torino’s cousin pulled one of the oxygen tanks in the room into the bathroom.
I just watched them. Were they going to set the room on fire? I had already lived through an event where I thought I would die; I could not be scared any worse.
The night staff begins loudly playing canasta in the reception room. J. began calling all of the night staff to join in.
I take medicine the nurse gives me and ¨glitch¨ into a program I call the 1000 Deaths. What is different is that the Argentinian and Torino and his cousin are in the scenario. In the scenario, they locate the tombs of famous rebels and revolutionaries and choke me to death over the graves. I experienced being choked to death countless times before I woke up at 4:30 am exhausted and drenched in sweat.
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12/7/21, 12:49 PM – Maria: What do you know about Renee?
12/7/21, 12:53 PM – D: Hi Maria. How are you? I spoke to the nurse this morning and Renee is fine. I speak with the Doctor this afternoon to receive the update.
12/7/21, 12:54 PM – Maria: Ok, if there is no problem, tell me.
12/7/21, 12:55 PM – D: Yes, absolutely
12/7/21, 1:45 PM – D: I spoke with the doctor and he tells me that my mother is fine and that my mother is improving. He says my mother will likely be released before the weekend.
12/7/21, 1:47 PM – Maria: Good, they make sure it comes out well cured.
12/7/21, 1:47 PM – Maria: Thank you.
12/7/21, 1:48 PM – D: Yes, okay, no problem
Daniel´s notes: Lawyer SB:
7/12/21, 1:41 PM – D: <Media omitted>
7/12/21, 1:46 PM – LawyerSB: Thank you man! Crossing fingers with your mom
7/12/21, 1:46 PM – LawyerSB: And yes keep us updated
Today there is a more obvious decline in food, medicines, and care.
The Argentinian mentions that their reports are not making sense when the doctors and nurses do their rounds. I laugh at this because all I hear when they come around is each patient’s personal information. These reports are not even legitimate medical updates. I am described as a *ratto*, and the Argentinian is a pervert. Today I conclude that this program tries to undermine confidence, scare people into hysteria, and create high anxiety levels.
We are out of paper towels, there is only a tiny amount of toilet paper, and no oxygen is coming through our cannulas. What happens if we run out of food and the nurses begin to give us the wrong medicines? Things are put out there for you to see so that your thinking goes negative and anxious. I plan what I might do to escape if things worsen.
9:00 am video call with Daniel. Earlier I had overheard the nurses and the receptionist discuss how to play a trick on Daniel. They had found an attendant who looked like him and they had recorded a fake conversation with me. When I got the video call, I recognized that it was not Daniel I was speaking to because the shirt was not a shirt I had seen before and because he just kept repeating the same thing over and over. The video was a looping clip. I try and tell him in code how dire my situation is. I am worried for him. If they are doing this to me, are they harming him at the house? But Daniel in the video kept repeating, ¨I am fine, how are you?¨
**Note: Later, Daniel told me that he wore a mask the whole time he made the video because he was in the hospital at the time and he said I looked sedated.
During today’s rounds, I asked the head doctor when I would be released to go home. He says depending on the oxygen level, I should be able to go home by Thursday. Then he adds something strange –
¨after we clean you up. ¨ ENG
Observations: I can routinely walk to the bathroom and shower. I take time to look out the window. The view looks unreal; I cannot see a single person or car moving out there. I see only the rooftops and the far towers. The sun seems to always be in an indeterminate position. In Salon Bolio, I can now see the date and time on the bottom of my patient monitor. I also begin saving the labels off my food carton that lists the mealtime; because I do not have my memory knots, it is hard to keep track of events and times.
Sounds: It is evident to me how much this is an opp. The same plane flies in the same direction in the sky. The same ambulance siren is heard outside the window for the same length of time twice a day. The same banging sounds of heavy items falling on the floor above us are heard every evening. The sounds are recorded playbacks.
We get a new patient in bed no.163. He is a judge and has cancer. He has not recovered from COVID, but they have him here to recuperate. He is not hooked to any monitor, and I do not think they even give him the same medications we get. He is overweight and diabetic also. He hears everything that is said the same as I do. After half a day of listening to the nurses in the hallway laughing at how they circumvent Daniel’s phone calls – and the Argentinian, Torino, and the cousin plotting to use my body as the fuel for their fire along with the oxygen; the judge begins sobbing to a nurse how someone has to stop this plotting. He tells the nurse what he has heard, and she cuts him off and tells him to stop talking nonsense. He says he does not understand what is going on in this place.
I am learning to ignore all chatter; I know it is not real.
I decide to say as little as possible. I look at every event as a twist in a plot to keep me in the hospital. I put my trust in Daniel, doing everything he can to hurry and get me out.
The theme today seems to be about trials. The talk in the reception desk area is that Daniel has a lawyer, and they are both trying to get me released. There is a plan to make Daniel pay the entire $240,000.00 into an account, and then he has to agree to be in a video where he explains how his mother molested the Argentinian. I listen as they build this plot. They need to film the molestation, though. A woman from the U.S. Embassy called to find out why I was not released. The reception area is getting nervous.
A male attendant comes and says I need a shower. I go along with it because I am determined not to cause them to think I am crazy. Through their gestures and body language, I realize that this is just a way to get me out of the room – that they are going to do something to my bed, even though the female attendants make a big show like they are only changing the sheets. This attendant takes a long time talking to me. He had initially said that he did not speak English. I had even given him the nickname – No English – but suddenly, he is excellent at speaking English and says he loves the history of the Civil Rights Movement. We are in the shower area for almost an hour discussing Martin Luther King. When I got back to my bed, I immediately noticed that they had switched out the end panel of the hospital bed for one with a tiny camera lens. I laugh, and while no one is looking, I take a wet piece of paper towel and paste it over the lens.
I witness Torino putting something in the judge’s bed while asleep. He also puts something from his drawer onto the judge´s pillow. Then, when the nurse comes in, he claims that the judge was the one who tried to steal his stuff and that the judge has matches hidden in his bed.
An official-looking man comes into the room with a rolling laptop cart and two other attendants. They stand by Torino´s cousin’s bed and declare Torino´s cousin guilty of trying to set a fire in the bathroom. The cousin looks stunned and Torino tries to intervene to no avail. The cousin will be sentenced when he is released from the hospital.
The next plot involves putting something in my food to cause diarrhea. In the salons, it is customary for the ablest patient to help distribute the food. To be in a hospital room with people that might have a disease and distribute the food seemed dumb to me. I went along because I was not trying to draw too much attention to myself negatively. The Argentinian is the one who can walk well, so he helps pass out everyone’s food. However, this time Torino asks his cousin to do it. I correctly decided not to drink my coffee; I did not eat my food. I mixed up the food to make it look like I had eaten it and poured the coffee inside the food carton. The meal attendants were so tired; they did not question it when they collected the mess.
The nurses in the reception area are in total meltdown because they cannot see anything on camera from my bed. They cannot figure it out. I see today how juvenile people are acting. Their plots are all childish and haphazard. Nothing seems actually to work out. It is truly all a farce.
The doctor comes by in the afternoon and looks at the patient monitor. It is at 84; it read earlier in the day – 95. He says – your oxygen level is low. Then, when he comes by with the daily updates with the head doctor and nurses, he says I am making significant progress. It is like being in the story Alice in Wonderland.
9:00 pm: I do not want to go to sleep. I have to sleep with the sheet over me at night because the night staff goes crazy, roams the hallways, and the rooms banging on stuff and threatening to do things. For example, they pour liquid on the floor and talk about gasoline and how they will create a fire. I know it is not gasoline but water; there is no smell. Then they have sex in the office behind the reception area. Because I am trying to breathe under the sheet all night, my oxygen level is affected. I worry about the Argentinian and the others and what they might do while I am asleep. I decide to ¨glitch¨ into a scenario; it seems the safest option.
The Argentinian, Torino, and the cousin have now begun to talk about having sex with me. They speak graphically about everything they want to do and how I need to be controlled. I stated out loud to them that I would not participate in anything. That I will not be responsible for my actions if they even try. The judge is openly weeping. I tell them I will die first. To prove it, I declare that I want to go home, or I will die right now. I laid down flat in my bed and willed my breathing to go to almost nothing. I urinated in bed. They were furious.
Then there was a loud commotion in the hallway. Daniel and the lawyer had apparently arrived to make a deal for my release. The head nurse (she had red hair and always wore a white nurse’s jacket) was excited and in charge. She called for someone to bring up the video camera and extra lights. They conducted this interview down the hallway. I continued to play dead. Then someone said that the magistrate needed to approve this action, but he needed me to be present. I felt the nurses move my bed around. I thought I could hear Daniel calling my name.
I awoke in my wet and stinking bed, alive. And it was as if nothing had even occurred. Except a nurse came in and congratulated the Argentinian on his newfound wealth. Money was being transferred into his account from Daniel. Everyone was going to get some.
My firm conclusion from this night: There were all sorts of childish and improbable plots, but nothing ever came to fruition. The reason was that this was a psychological operation that depended on the fear generated by auditory hallucinations. The hallucinations were augmented by the medication Florodon and the patient monitors. All I needed to do to stop the scenarios was to take the sheet off my head and sit up. COVID patients were the perfect experimental subjects because our access to external communications could be totally controlled.
About the language: inside the program scenarios, the languages spoken are English and Spanish. The conversations I overhear when I am awake are in Spanish.
Daniel´s notes: Lawyer SB:
7/13/21, 10:20 AM – D: <Media omitted>
7/13/21, 11:07 AM – LawyerSB: Thank you Daniel! She’ll be fine the worst has happened and she is a strong lady
7/13/21, 11:19 AM – D: <Media omitted>
7/13/21, 11:43 AM – LawyerSB: Let me touch base with the team, will let you know
7/13/21, 11:44 AM – D: Ok great, thank you
7/13/21, 2:33 PM – D: <Media omitted>
7/13/21, 4:44 PM – LawyerSB: Hi Daniel, can I call you around 5:30?
7/13/21, 4:46 PM – D: Yes, that is perfect SB. Thank you.
I decided today that I need to tell the doctor I do not feel safe in this room where I am the only woman. I cannot go on sleeping under a sheet in fear every night. My oxygen level, which had been rising, is going down. I am feeling desperate to hurry and be released from here.
I see the doctor when he makes his morning rounds. I tell him I cannot sleep in this room with all-male patients; I do not feel safe. He assures me that everything is fine, that the door stays open at night, and no one will harm me. I show him my hands, which are still shaking from the COVID alarm night. I told him I was very nervous and scared. He tells me he will see what he can do.
Later that day, the doctor told me he could put my bed in the next room of people; more women were there. He says there is a shortage of rooms and he cannot give me my own room. I thought his answer was strange because I did not ask for my own room. He shows me an email on his phone from Daniel. He says that Daniel asked me to be moved because I ¨am uncomfortable in a room with all men¨. I read the email. (important note: Daniel later reported never sending this email).
Around 5:00 pm, the attendants move my bed to the room next door. As I am being moved, I see some attendants moving a new patient into Salon Bolio- another man.
The new room (I did not know the name – I will call it Room A) was filled with people who looked near death. I found out from the evening doctor rounds that this is the ¨international¨ room¨.
I could not see the bed numbers, so I will use the same corresponding numbers from Salon Bolio:
No.165 Samoan woman: she was about 40 and spent most of her time under the sheets talking to her husband on her phone. She was terrified, and though she did not know a lot of English, I gathered from her communication that all of the patients there were afraid after ¨glitch night¨. They were all day and night being used sexually by the monitors. There was no rest.
No.166 Ethiopian woman: she was around 50 years old and spent her time on her stomach moaning and groaning. I only saw her when the nurses cleaned the patients and beds.
No.161: Samoan man: He had a horrible skin condition; large white patches were on his hands, arms, and face. He spent most of the time sleeping, facing the windows.
No.162: Nepalese man: He spoke English well, but we did not talk much because he was ill. Aside from COVID-19, he had cancer. He was also being used sexually.
No.163: Beverly: She is a highly emaciated 23-year-old woman. She was crying and moaning in pain because, as she said in English, ¨they want sex over and over¨. She is the favorite of the people using this virtual sex program. The nurses had to help her eat and drink because she was so weak, and throughout the night, they changed her diaper after cleaning her.
Observations: In this room, the monitors were chiming, clicking, and beeping all day and night. There was no cycle. Was this supposed to scare me and make me crazy? Was this meant as a warning that I would permanently be put into this room?
There is a new nurse I will call Nurse Ratchet. She replaced the other red-headed nurse who wore the white jacket. J. said they needed someone special to handle Daniel’s calls, especially now that he has a lawyer. Nurse Ratchet is short and stocky with a very masculine haircut of very red hair. She wears a red-flowered nurse’s top and dark pants every day. Nurse Ratchet now operates the reception desk and handles patients’ release. She takes particular energy in diverting Daniel’s calls. She laughs and cheers with the other nurses whenever she can hang up on him. For a woman who appears to be in her 50s, she acts very childishly. As I have mentioned several times, childishness seems to be a symptom of this program.
9:00 pm: I did not try to talk much to the other patients, I decided not to take the night medicine, and I sat up the entire night and did not sleep. I braided my hair to stay awake. All night, I heard loud noises from Salon Bolio as the patients banged on beds and tore at the plastic biohazard bags. The Argentinian began to come out to try to get me; the receptionist and an attendant kept him in Salon Bolio.
The night nurse who records the blood pressure is disheveled. She reads off the blood pressure but does not write it down on her paper. She used a dry cotton swab to daub my arm before giving me the Heparina shot. She appears nervous and unfocused. Instead of making an orderly path around the room for each patient, she stops in the middle and acts like she forgot who she just attended to.
I cover my head with the sheet when the nurses come around to show off ¨the baby¨. They are especially gleeful because it makes mechanical-sounding noises like speech. I do not want to see this thing or be caught looking, even though I know this is all fake.
Daniel´s notes: Lawyer SB:
7/14/21, 10:57 AM – D: Good morning SB,
I thought about our call yesterday and the topic of the patient self release form. Because this is a Spanish speaking country, I imagine this form would be in Spanish. My mother cannot read Spanish. So this form would need to be translated for her to understand it. In order to not lose time, is it possible for you to request this form from the hospital? The only other option I see outside of this is my mother allowing the Doctor or you to explain the documents contents. I know her very well, she will want to read the document rather than have it explained. Especially a document as important as this. Please let me know what you think. Thank you.
7/14/21, 11:00 AM – LawyerSB: Hi Daniel, one of my best friends is a surgeon at the Caja
7/14/21, 11:00 AM – LawyerSB: let me ask him if he can get it to me
7/14/21, 11:08 AM – D: Thank you!
7/14/21, 11:59 AM – D: <Media omitted>
7/14/21, 12:24 PM – LawyerSB: I just spoke to him and he confirmed what I told you: she can be released as long as she is not a threat to public health, so considering there is a National Emergency declared since March 2019, I do not think it would have made any difference. There is no form, she only needs to request a “Salida exigida” and they will put her to sign a disclaimer to release the hospital about any complication if she gets sick again
7/14/21, 12:24 PM – LawyerSB: So she is being released today or Friday?
7/14/21, 12:25 PM – LawyerSB: I think the problem here is the new doctor who is a prick. He could have told you the last time you speak with him
7/14/21, 12:25 PM – D: I understand.
7/14/21, 12:26 PM – D: The plan of Dr Polomo was a release today. He changed it today, for Friday. He told my mom this morning. My mom told me to prepare for the morning but we have to see.
7/14/21, 12:31 PM – D: This is what I was trying to explain before. There are doctors treating my mother who act in this way. Dr Polomo doesnt answer the questions in detail, tells me not to call on Weds specifically, only to find out her release date was today. I spoke with him Monday and Tuesday. Lastly, I am convinced now my mother was possibly sedated at yesterdays video call. She was confused about my visit yesterday like she didnt speak to me. She was in great health with no problems today.
7/14/21, 12:38 PM – LawyerSB: Weird
7/14/21, 12:39 PM – LawyerSB: If we receive conflincting information tomorrow we will be more tough
7/14/21, 12:40 PM – LawyerSB: That is tougher right, sorry about my English today
7/14/21, 12:46 PM – D: At this point my friend, I think toughness is required. Friday is the end of the week and I would hate for “something to come up” and we have to wait until Monday.
7/14/21, 12:48 PM – D: My mother says she does not feel safe at night because she is in a mixed room and only male hospital staff at night. She told me to tell you.
The morning nurses arrive to clean the beds. I have the morning coffee around 5.30, and the doctor comes to give me some bad news. A patient in Salon Bolio has a bacterial infection, and I must be moved back and tested! I am furious but realize this is another trap. The doctor told me that I was going to be released today. I stay calm and try to plan my subsequent actions for the day.
While I wait to be moved back, a nurse walks in and begins to talk to the Samoan woman and the Ethiopian woman about how they need to have sex daily with their husbands to get rid of COVID. She says it is ok to have sex here in the hospital because they are doing a service to help get rid of this disease. I am sure now that I am having auditory hallucinations because I have never heard something so crazy in my life, except I had not taken any medications, and I am wide awake.
Today I sit and think about all that I know about my current situation.
In Salon Tara, I got myself in trouble because I could not stay asleep. I saw and remembered things I was not supposed to. I made the doctor angry. However, as I thought more about the situation, I was in trouble the first moment I entered the emergency room, and they decided to take away all of my belongings.
In Salon Bolio, I am now the target of a program to make me crazy, to break me. Everything is passive. They cannot touch me directly but can play on every fear to terrify me. Who are ¨they¨? From my observations, this is a U.S. program. It operates under COVID-19 health therapies because COVID-19 patients are isolated and can be harmed or killed easily without anyone asking questions. Patients have no power here.
The program affects only people in the room. Once outside the room, you cannot hear the chimes, beeps, or clicks. But you still hear the staff’s nasty comments and odd conversations. The hospital staff appears to be negatively affected by the program. They are nervous, angry, strained, forgetful, and unfocused.
They have blocked all personal calls out. Patients need a unique number to make a phone call on their cell phones. Daniel’s number is blocked from the whole network, and I can only get a call through the hospital staff’s tablet.
The program is multi-layered. The auditory hallucinations you can ignore because everything said is false. The visuals that occur when you are sleeping and involved in a scenario can be managed by waking up.
Once you leave the Covid-19 emergency section of the hospital, everything is normal.
I cannot sleep all night hiding under a sheet – it impairs my breathing. I decide if Torino and the Argentinian can escape the wrath of the night shift by relaxing and playing games on their phones, then I can devise something to do the same. Torino’s cousin cannot use his phone anymore because he does not have a power cable, so he sleeps with the sheet over his head. I look through my things in my drawer and see the bar of soap wrapper. On the back is an extended bar code and numbers, and it is a similar size to a small phone. I decided to try it.
The Program in Salon Bolio
4:30 am The Preview
The monitors chime a melodic sound and slow down. At this time, the talk at the reception desk and in the hallway is essential; from the conversations, you can determine the challenge for the day.
5:30 am Coffee Time
The quiet continues after coffee. I found that I can talk with the other patients, and they are their usual selves. Later, I think something has been put into our coffee because we all get drowsy and usually fall asleep after drinking it.
7:30 am Action, Challenges, and Intimidation
At this time, plans are made for the evening, and situations are plotted. It continues until 12.30 pm.
12:30 pm After Lunch
The monitors’ countdown chime. The countdown slows after about 30 minutes, then stops. Depending on your reactions to what occurred earlier, the program creates another set of challenges for the afternoon. I found it is better to be very calm and not react to anything being said or done. Otherwise, the afternoon is very unpleasant.
4:30 pm End of Day
The monitors count down the time; a decision is made about whatever is happening as the day’s challenge. If the challenge was that you would be released, if you are not released before the chime stops counting down, you will not be released. If this is a Friday, you will not be released until Monday.
My bed is put back into Salon Bolio, and I ask for a metal partition to block any interaction with the others. The Chinese patient was transferred out, and my bed was placed near the door, no.166. Next to me in bed no.165 is Domingo. He is short and fat with a bald head. He cannot speak English.
The Argentinian is gloating. He wanted me back and acted like he got what he wanted. The others fill in Domingo with what they want to do to me. The judge is still in the room, and he begins to protest. Later in the day, the judge is transferred out of the room, and I never see him again. I sit in bed and repeatedly count the numbers under the bar code on my soap bar. I listen in on what the others are planning. They are ridiculing my soap. A few attendants notice and laugh. However, it is magical; most of the negative comments stop.
The doctor collected a specimen with an anal swab, saying he needed to test me for the bacteria infection since one of my partners had developed an infection. I protested that I did not touch anyone. Then I shut up because I reminded myself that everything said was a trap.
The nurses and attendants discussed how they bought video cameras for the room. They want to film the other patients having sex with me. Torino speaks to me in Spanish and English, describing how the poor in Costa Rica live on less than 500 colones per month. They can come to the hospital to make money participating in research programs. The least I could do is play along; it won’t hurt.
I think about what tactic to take and decide that with my knowledge about this program, they cannot hurt me because it depends on fear. Since I know and remember everything, I am not afraid anymore.
After lunch, I roll on my side and go to sleep. I am tired and need a way to get out of this without damaging my health further.
While I sleep, I call up my spirit animal – the black Jaguar. My spirit animal is something I devised a very long time ago. I need it now. At first, it is smoky and transparent, but as I call it out, it solidifies. It is black but sometimes green with yellow eyes. I feel it stretch out its muscles and bare its teeth.
Next, I call out my Lakota spirit guides, the same ones that told me I was to be the recorder when I was at Standing Rock, North Dakota. I visualize their nebulous forms. I call on them for protection.
Next, I call on all of my ancestors by visualizing the Michel Family Tree and the thousands of names I recorded. I call on all those brave solid French people who refused to swear loyalty to the English monarchy.
Finally, I call up my family and friends, who I know wish me the best, and pray I recover. In my mind, I then challenge the program, ¨Bring it on!
I hear the Argentinian getting excited and tell Torino, hey, she will let us do it; look, she rolled over, come on! They wake up Domingo and the cousin, who had both fallen asleep.
I begin to feel the tiniest faint tingles, like small electric charges around my pelvis. They are almost unnoticeable. I think, is this it? Is this all they can do? I almost laugh out loud and continue to sleep. I wait a while; then, I unleash my spiritual army on them. My Jaguar goes for Domingo´s throat. My army swirls around the intruders, and I wake up.
The men are all sitting quietly in their beds. And they are furious. Domingo is scared and says in a shaky voice that I am a witch – a bruha. He talks about the Jaguar and how it attacked him. He says he wants nothing to do with me. The Argentinian is angry and says I am useless. Torino says I am a devil. The cousin is shaking in fear and says he will also have nothing to do with me.
9:00 pm: I take the medicines and ¨glitch out all night into the program. I first do the scenario called Extraction. In this scenario, Daniel has gotten the U.S. military to come and take me out of the hospital. I am asleep and hear banging on doors and a loud commotion in the hallway. People are running; nurses are upset and trying to block the doors. However, the noise is from some parents who have come with the magistrate to get their daughter out of Salon A. I hear a woman sobbing about how anyone could have done this to her daughter. When I woke up, several nurses looked very upset and panicked. One nurse is crying. I wonder, did that happen, or was it just the program?
I fall back to sleep and do another scenario; this one is called Embedded. I hear the noise outside in the hallway, and there is a group of soldiers. They say they are here to collect the criminals and try them for felonies. They wheel in a unique covered hospital bed and give it to the nurses. It is an incendiary bed. They will hold a trial in the salon and execute the men by placing them in the bed and burning them to death. It is the only way because of COVID-19. The Argentinian is speechless, Torino is scared, Domingo is terrified, and the cousin looks like he will pee his pants. They start protesting. I sit up and laugh and tell them I have been embedded in this program the whole time to expose the things being done to patients. I told them that the program software needed to be fixed because it malfunctioned on ¨glitch¨ night and affected all the hospital’s work. The men were shocked.
In the last scenario, no.10 – Eyes, I decided to avoid it at all costs. I had already been given a preview. The nurses were looking for a good set of eyes for their ¨baby¨.
I woke up sweaty and exhausted but feeling triumphant. But this worried me because I knew the game was not over. Would I win in the end? Was my cleverness at overcoming the challenges put forth going to mean a worse outcome later?
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7/15/21, 1:14 PM – Maria: I left you the original documents of your mother.
7/15/21, 1:18 PM – D: Hi Maria, thank you very much👍🏼
7/15/21, 3:50 PM – D: Hi Maria, I have unfortunate news from the doctor that he will not be discharged tomorrow. The doctor says there has been an outbreak of bacteria in my mother’s apartment and they have to examine everyone, including Renee. You don’t think you have the bacteria because it is spread through touch, not through the air. She still doesn’t have COVID and is healthy, that’s great. We have to pray for better news soon. The doctor says that if the test for the bacteria is negative, the fourth is 3 days. So next Monday is a potential if all goes well. Please, do not worry. We pray and leave the business to God.
7/15/21, 3:52 PM – Maria: But she had covid. Days ago.
The question I have this morning is whether I will be released before the end of the day. I know I must maintain total calm, so I focus my full attention on my soap bar. I say muchas gracias to everyone who interacts with me. I ignore the chatter, and I do not respond to hostile gestures.
It is apparent during the monitor chiming that this will be a day about my release. It becomes clear later in the day that the men now have another plan and are working with the hospital staff.
Their plan involves cameras and pornography.
During the morning rounds, the head doctor explains the program to the men. He says that the Florodon increases oxygen intake so that during sex, the COVID-19 virus is eradicated from the body.
The nurses are nervous because they try to be sneaky about putting in the cameras. I am sitting in bed with my soap, awake, and they cannot do it.
In the afternoon, an attendant takes me to radiology for another chest x-ray. He is one of two transport attendants who wear white shirts and beige pants. This one acts like he is on a hair-trigger. I witnessed him act cruelly to an older woman placed in Salon A before I was moved back to Salon Bolio. Before that, I saw him act cruelly toward the intubated Chinese man. He jerked my wheelchair around like he was trying to tip me over. He only did it when no one was looking. He parked me in front of the door to radiology and then walked far down the hall to sit down. All his actions were to intimidate me and make me fearful. It did not work.
As we waited for the elevator, I saw a couple with eye patches over their right eyes.
When we got back to Salon Bolio, I saw immediately that the nurses used the time to change my bed again. Now it had two camera pole mounts, one screwed in at the left top of the bed and one screwed into the bottom right. Later I try to unscrew the poles, but they are too tight. So, they must still be planning to film something.
The doctor arrives with a nurse and takes an arterial blood sample from the Argentinian. He does not know what it is and asks about it. What? I recognize this as the next thing to use on me; the arterial blood draw is considered one of the most painful medical procedures. The Argentinian should have already had this procedure; otherwise, how could they determine his blood oxygen levels?
The nurses in the reception area talk about how Daniel sings well. Torino says Daniel’s choice of music is excellent. Then there is a discussion among the men, led by Torino, about how I am not a bad person after an examination. I have helped people around me. I unselfishly helped Ariana in Salon Tara. But I have written against masks, and I support Trump…not!. I remind myself how everything is a lie. Torino gets all of his information about me from internet searches, and he must be able to hack into WhatsApp.
After lunch, I could not see anything because of the metal partition; the men had their beds pushed more into the center of the room. The nurses wheel in a cart and discuss how they must be careful with the baby. They are about to have virtual sex with a baby. Domingo says he can’t; the nurse says there is also a chicken. The Argentinian has no problem with doing it to a baby. Torino says he will have sex with the Samoan and Kimberly in Salon A.
I focus all my attention on the bar code on my soap bar. This program is going from bad to worse, and I need to stay calm to be released.
In the early evening, one of the nurses comes to my bed and gives me a copy of a story called Mariposa Blanca. I ask her what it is. She said she wanted to give me something to read since I had nothing to do all day. I flipped through it and saw how my name and the Argentinians had been copied and pasted into several sentences in the story. I waited, and when no one was looking, I pretended to get a cup of water and throw a paper towel away as I tore up and threw away the story. I recognized this as another trap.
The Lost Property section of Rosas & Co. department store becomes the setting for a story of salvation, with an unexpected saviour. The manager is Mr Smith, a man who prides himself on his methodical efficiency, impressing upon his wistful secretary, Luisa, the importance of keeping her mind on the job. When she brings flowers to the office, a tentative gesture towards something livelier than the humdrum of lost umbrellas, handkerchiefs and gloves, Mr Smith calls them a useless distraction in a place of work and demands that they be thrown in the bin.
A colourful host of characters pass through the office, among them the inconsolable widow, Amanda; the teacher who loses books on purpose so as to have an excuse to visit Luisa; and the neurotic Mr Hurried who speaks as if he is delivering a telegram. Then there is a customer they have not encountered before: an elderly lady in search of something she has lost. Luisa is happy and willing to lend her assistance, but when she tries to ascertain what kind of object it is, and where she thinks she lost it, it becomes clear that what the old lady is missing will not be easy to find: she’s looking for a memory.
At first Luisa and Mr Smith believe they are dealing with a confused old lady who’s wits and doesn’t understand that a memory is not something you can find like a piece of lost property. But the old lady’s persistence – and her conviction that they will be able to recover it for her – begin to become convincing. What’s more, she begins to perceive things about them which are difficult to ignore. She sees their loneliness ‘crying in the corners, blowing across them like a gust of frozen air’. She warns them against a half-lived life, a life which could come to an end with nothing more than a room full of other people’s possessions and no real memories of their own. She ignites the possibility of a latent affection between Mr Smith and Luisa, planting the seed in each mind that they are loved by the other and that they too love. We hear the undermining voice of Luisa’s mother who tells her love isn’t important, what matters is that Luisa marries a wealthy man. In an act of defiance against her mother and Mr Smith’s joyless work ethic, Luisa restores the flowers to the table from the bin.
Once Luisa has been convinced by the value of things beyond the physical, material world, she and the old lady must persuade Mr Smith to accept what they both now see. Bound by his deeply ingrained external markers of success and satisfaction, Mr Smith resists their perceptions. The old lady asks him to find the memory she is looking for, and, at first, all he can offer are memories of himself through other people’s eyes. But this won’t do. It’s when he recalls saving a white butterfly that the old lady is satisfied. This was the memory she was looking for.
Roepke’s play is brought to life by a sense of the ridiculous, a tender humour and a version of absurd theatre which is gentle, poignant and profoundly poetic. We are left at the end of the play with a suggestion of a union between Mr Smith and Luisa, and a song of praise to the ability of humans to transcend the mundane by valuing what is meaningful to us, but not always visible to the outside world.
9:00 pm: I take my medications and lie down to sleep. I want to ¨glitch out,¨ but wake up to avoid the last scenario. By 9:30, I see the Argentinian and Torino; all are asleep early. I think they must have had a busy day. The monitor above the Argentinian begins to beep four distinct beeps, followed by four vibrations under me in my mattress! This repeated several times. What the hell! The camera mounts were not the only things that were added to my bed. Were the programmers trying to link directly to me since nothing else worked before? I should not have, but I lost it. I began taking my bed apart to find what they had put inside the mattress. I could not get to whatever it was; it was far down near the middle of the foam padding. I went to the sliding door and asked for a nurse to come.
I pointed out the monitor and how the light was flashing and the beeping sounded four times; then, I asked her to feel my mattress and how it repeated the same. Not only did she refuse to come over anywhere near my bed, but she woke up the Argentinian and said I was accusing him of something. Here I had the evidence, but she was not going to check it out. Two other nurses came in, fixed my mattress, and told me to calm down and sleep. I recognized one of the nurses; it was Bela from Salon Tara. She takes me into the shower area and tells me I must be calm and not look too deeply into things. She stated that she had been hospitalized and knew what I was going through. Bela says that for me to leave the correct way, I must be calm and not cause any trouble. I now sleep facing the opposite end of the bed to avoid whatever they had placed in the mattress.
I overhear the nurses talking in the hallway about how the Argentinian can now sue me for more money for a false accusation.
I manage to avoid The Eye scenario, but I awake to noises in the hallway, and I think I hear Daniel calling for me. I rush out of bed and yell out his name! Several nurses run out from the back office, wondering what I am doing; Daniel is not here to rescue me. They laugh, but one looks worried; she says something about the other night with the parents, first that and now this.
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7/16/21, 1:47 PM – D: Good afternoon Maria, how are you? I hope you and your family are doing well. Sorry to bother you, but I have some technical questions that I think you or Mr. Carlos can help me answer. The questions are for my mother when I get home. Is there a good time to speak in person today?
7/16/21, 2:09 PM – Maria: Yes, of course at 5:00 pm in our house.
7/16/21, 2:12 PM – D: Ok, thank you very much.
7/16/21, 4:58 PM – Maria: Hi Daniel. We are here at my house waiting for you.
7/16/21, 5:00 PM – D: here I come
7/16/21, 5:51 PM – Maria: Montes De Oca Insumos.vcf (file attached)
I wake sweaty and tired. I did not remember falling asleep. The men are all awake on their phones, laughing. They are talking about how I am a hit. During the night, they made a film about having sex with me. They posted the film to a website and were paid money for the number of hits it got. Disgusted, I go shower and discover that they have a hidden camera in the shower room. I know because I hear them talking about the video clip they got as I showered.
I adopt an I don’t care attitude; I do not look at them or their phones. I walk to my bed and count the numbers below the bar code on my soap wrapper. It is all I can do. I just want to go home.
I get a cup of water I save now on my chair on the far side of my bed, not my tray table, and I notice white drops splattered on my cart, the chair, and the side of my bed. I know what it looks like; I don’t say a thing. I walk over to the sink, get a wet paper towel, and go back to my bed and clean.
The rest of the day, the men are involved in having as much sex as possible with the people in Salon A, and with people online, it is like a vast pornography enterprise. They post videos and photos from the hospital and generate extortion money. The operators can access everyone’s WhatsApp information; that is how they knew so much about me and what I was doing. All information they spoke of was available on WhatsApp. So, anyone watching these videos is blackmailed into paying money to avoid exposure. Because these men participate voluntarily, they get cash directly deposited into their bank accounts.
Is it true, or is it just a hallucination? I know some of it must be true because I heard these things, and it was not nighttime, and I was not medicated. I did get a glimpse of my naked body showering on Torino’s phone as I walked by. I have no tangible proof.
The chatter I have ignored because my mind did not want to contemplate:
*Talk of impregnating me so I can give birth to an A.I. ¨baby¨. Refer back to the first night preview.
*I hear the chatter about how Nico, our driver, is a coyote, that he is illegal, and Daniel can get into legal trouble by association.
*I hear the chatter about setting my body on fire with gasoline because I was a Negrita bruha.
Since it was all meant to scare me and cause anxiety, I did my best to ignore it.
Observations: The oxygen is working now. The food is better. I witness a meal server crying in the hallway, and the attendant, No English, tries to calm her down. The shortages and the apparent degradation of the program were just another anxiety generator. Now, pornography is the topic.
The same two planes fly by the windows, the same sirens are heard, and objects are banging every day. I am not scared anymore of the program. I stayed calm to get released from the hospital with my mind intact.
9:00 pm. I do not take the medication. I pretend to put it in my mouth but let the pills fall down the front of my hospital gown. I then wait and dispose of them in the toilet. I stay awake by reading the bar code on my soap wrapper and using a wet paper towel to keep my face cool. When the cups of atole were served, the men laughed and said they hoped I enjoyed mine, that they had all contributed. I looked at the milky drink and thought it looked thicker than usual. I calmly walked over to the trash and threw it away.
An attendant named Luis collects the bio-hazard bags in the evening and at night. I had seen him in Salon Tara. I told him how he looked like my son. Now, he sees what is happening in Salon Bolio, and he glances at me and away rapidly. He looks worried. I hear him in the hallway, upset at what is happening to me, what he hears. The other attendants take him aside and tell him to do his job.
I stay awake until the morning nurses arrive.
Daniel´s notes:Lawyer SB:
7/17/21, 1:53 PM – D: Ok, Monday it is. I will call at 1:30pm. Thanks and have a good Saturday.
I shower early and well. My last chance to get out of this hell is on Monday. I have to make it through today. I know Daniel is working hard to get me out. They gave me exactly enough large-size hospital gowns from Salon Bolio to last until Monday. That is a good sign. I have had x-rays. I have had an examination for bacteria. I know I do not have an infection because I feel fine physically. I still have tremors from the COVID alert night. Now that I am not sleeping under a sheet all night and am getting more oxygen, I see my levels bouncing back. All of these are good signs. Most of all, I am not scared of anything this program sends my way.
I stay calm all day. I can remain relaxed enough to throw my soap wrapper away.
The entire day, I ignore the men having virtual sex behind the partition. I do not take my medicines. I do not want to be given anything to knock me out. I eat the food after I inspect it, of course.
The doctor comes in with a nurse and says he has to do an arterial blood draw. I knew this was coming and was prepared. However, the doctor is nervous (he is sweating) and cannot do it. The nurse takes over and does it, and it does not hurt like the first time. I stayed calm throughout the whole procedure.
The doctor returns in the afternoon and says he must do an arterial blood draw. I reminded him that he already did it earlier in the day.
He says no, he did not.
I point out the small bandages on both wrists.
He begins the procedure anyway but cannot do this again; he is too nervous about finding the correct spot on my wrists.
The nurse has to take over.
I wonder what is wrong with him.
9:00 pm: The men are all asleep early. They did not even have any energy to bully me on this day. I see Luis in the hallway as he is finishing his shift, but he tells the receptionist that he can stay longer. This is unusual, but I know he is doing it because he worries about what will happen tonight. I make sure my bed area is clean, that I am clean, and that my little bag of toiletries is ready. I also have a box of compression wraps that I received in Salon Tara. I had hidden a foil pill wrapper from some medication I was given in the box. Everything is sitting prepared on my chair next to my bed. I am ready to stay awake all night so nothing happens to ruin the chance to be released on Monday.
I feel I must take unexpected action. I might surprise the program because I was supposed to have taken medicine, I was supposed to be scared under the bed sheets, I was supposed to be submissive, following all of the directions, and I was supposed to be asleep.
I cannot just sit passively and let them think they will win. I get up from my bed and walk to the sliding doors, demanding to talk to my son.
You should have seen the look on the receptionist’s and the nurses’ faces! I walked out the sliding doors and down the hall to the elevators. They did not know what the hell to do. I said I wanted to go home, and I wanted to go now. I demanded the personal release form that I know is my right. I declared that I was in good health, not coughing, and strong. I said, just look at me. I have been sitting here calm all day and have had enough!
I want to talk to the doctor, and I want my personal release form. Now!
The receptionist ran back to her desk to call someone for help.
The three nurses (little Ticas) tried to grab my arms and drag me back to the room, but I went limp, and they lost their grip. I was stronger than them, and they obviously had no training to take someone down. Remember, I faked being weaker than I was, so they do not know how strong I am. I shouted that I would not move until I talked to the doctor.
The receptionist called the doctor, and he arrived. Dr. Leonardo tried to confuse me by asking if I knew what time and day it was. I laughed in his face. I said, ¨Look, doctor, I am calm and rational. I have just as much education as you do. I know it is almost 11:00 pm on Sunday, July 18th. You said you lacked space in this hospital, so why are you keeping me here? I should be home so that you have room for a sicker person. I know I have the right to sign a personal release form so I can go home. I want it, and I want it now.¨ I said all this, standing straight and strong and looking him dead in the eye.
He looked disgusted and left – he said he would look into the personal release form in parting. Next, two male attendants looking like security personnel walked up. Again, I knew everything was fake in this scene. I was correct; one of the men was a doctor and the other two were attendants. He used persuasive talking skills to talk me down; I let him because I had made my point. He had me return to the reception area, and he got on the desk laptop (who knew!) and placed a video call to Daniel so I could talk to him. It was 11:22 pm.
During the call, the nurses were in the background, talking about getting a straitjacket. One of the nurses even had a set of keys and locks in her pocket. As I finished my call with Daniel, two nurses were putting together some medicine for me. I walked back to my bed with assurances that I would be able to be released in the morning. One nurse handed me a small cup with a syrupy liquid and a pink and white capsule. I asked her what it was – she said it was to help me sleep. I did not argue. I placed the capsule under my tongue and pretended to sip the liquid as I walked back to bed. When I reached my bed, I spit the capsule out into my cup of water, and I also poured the small cup of syrup in. Whatever the capsule was, it made my tongue numb.
Tonight there was no medicine, no clicks, or beeps. The other patients had not woken during all the noise I made in the hallway. I had the very distinct feeling that the program was ending. I slept the first good sleep in a long time.
The morning nurses come in and clean the room. In fact, on this day, there is a team of attendants cleaning the room from top to bottom. They are cleaning the walls with mops and bleach. I get the sense that something is coming to a close.
I do not talk or look at the other patients. I focus all my energy on staying positive and calm. I made sure to throw the water cups with the medicine from the night before away.
The morning melodic chime begins. The reception area is unusually quiet.
I make sure I am clean and ready for what will happen.
What happens next is surprising, but I was ready for anything. The doctor comes and says he has to do an arterial blood draw. I say ok. I put out my wrists. His hands are shaking, and he has sweat on his face. He sticks me with the needle in the left wrist but cannot find the correct location. He pierced me with the needle in my right wrist three times. The third time he digs the needle around, I feel faint. But I hold onto the tray table and refuse to faint. I know if I faint, my chance today to be released will evaporate. He gives up, and the nurse takes over to do my wrists. I now have two punctures, a cut on my right wrist, and three punctures on my left.
This is no hallucination.
The first patient released is the Argentinian. The nurses congratulate him on the wealth he will collect from me. He is given a bag of his clothes, and the female attendant wheels him out in a wheelchair.
Torino’s cousin is next to go after lunch. He is told that all charges against him are dropped and they deposited money into his account.
Then nurses come in for Domingo and announce that the criminal charges against him were dropped, and he can be released to go home.
It is 3:30 pm. I am still sitting on the edge of my bed. I keep thinking positively. I picture my house and chickens. I think of my spirit animals.
The end-of-day countdown chime begins early.
I sit and listen to it. Alone in Salon Bolio. For two hours.
Finally, as the chime slows, a female attendant arrives with a wheelchair. There is no one to see me off or say goodbye. All the other nurses and staff are gone; it feels like this entire floor was emptied and closed down.
I feel like holding my breath. Am I being released, or will I be placed in another room?
The attendant takes me into the elevator, and we go down to the ground floor; then we go through the maze of the hospital and down a hall where I see Maria. I am so happy I almost jump out of the chair. I am shaking. I want to cry. Maria hands me a bag of clothes, and we go to a changing room where I strip off the dirty hospital gown and hurriedly put on the clothes and shoes.
The attendant wheels me to the hospital entry area. I am holding my breath even though I need to breathe through my mask. I must wait in the wheelchair with the female attendant while Maria finds Carlos and the car. I sit in concentration. I will not be safe until I am through that hospital exit. That is all I think about. I hold back the urge to dash out the hospital door.
Finally, Maria signals that the car is there; at the same time, I see Daniel outside the door; they had said he could not come inside the hospital! I struggle out of the wheelchair and almost run to the car. I breakdown in absolute relief; I made it. I got out alive.
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7/19/21, 7:14 AM – D: Good morning Maria, I hope you are well. The doctor called me last night and said that Renee can be discharged today. Renee has to sign some papers and I have to talk to the doctor. I think today it is possible to go to the hospital and pick up Renee. Is it okay to ask if you and Mr. Carlos are available to go to the hospital today? I’m still working on the details, but wanted to ask. Renee wanted me to ask you.
7/19/21, 9:37 AM – Maria: Yes of course at what time?
7/19/21, 9:39 AM – Maria: I ask you. You have to bring oxygen. To bring it?
7/19/21, 9:51 AM – D: I don’t know the time. The nurse this morning says to call after 2:00 pm. Renee no longer needs oxygen. I spoke to her last night and her breathing is good on its own.
She doesn’t have the bacteria.
7/19/21, 9:54 AM – D: The specific issue right now is that Renee has requested the release because she is 100% healthy. The hospital says they need a notary to translate the document into English for Renee to sign before she can leave. As you know, this takes time, so we don’t know any more information until 2:00 pm, please talk to the doctor.
7/19/21, 9:55 AM – Maria: Very good news, Carlos is in San Miguel but he comes at noon.
7/19/21, 9:55 AM – D: Ok, thank you very much Maria👍🏼
7/19/21, 9:56 AM – Maria: You have to think it through, with the oxygen thing.
Let me know
7/19/21, 9:57 AM – D: Yes of course
7/19/21, 11:30 AM – Maria: I inform you that you do not have to pay anything for your mother’s hospital, because she is a resident and pays the insurance.
7/19/21, 11:33 AM – D: Okay great. The hospital will call you shortly with information about Rene. I couldn’t translate. Sorry for the inconveniences.
7/19/21, 11:58 AM – Maria: Hi Daniel. They already called me and explained to me what happens The Social Security fund has to be taken care of when discharge (discharge of a patient) It has to be in good condition Renee does not go out today The doctors are concerned about her condition .He explained to you for the insurance is very expensive and they need beds for more new patients. But such is the state of having that they don’t want her to go out.I explained to my name that you have oxygen and a lot of experience in using it.I advise you not to press for his departure and it does not sound good to be saying here, listen to the lawyer, in this country we have plenty of will to help.You must be patient. She is medically in very good hands.For me it is not a bother with pleasure and I wish all the best to have. Remember that I am a pharmacy doctor and I understand what is happening.
7/19/21, 12:00 PM – Maria: Correct take by Renee.
7/19/21, 3:12 PM – Maria: Hi Daniel. They just called me from 430pm onwards.
7/19/21, 3:25 PM – D: Okay, what time should I meet at your house?
7/19/21, 4:04 PM – D: Ready
Daniel’s notes:Lawyer SB:
7/19/21, 7:09 AM – D: Good morning SB,
I wanted to ask you when you are available to call Dr Polomo this morning? If we can try and speak with him before 1:30pm, I think it is best. The night doctor told me they do hospital releases 7-3pm. Considering my mother is ready now, I would like to get her home today. Thank you for your help.
7/19/21, 7:44 AM – LawyerSB: Hi Daniel, my morning is booked 😦
7/19/21, 7:51 AM – D: Ok, thank you.
7/19/21, 10:00 AM – D: My friend, I will make the call to the Dr at 1:30pm today if you are available then.
7/19/21, 1:55 PM – D: <Media omitted>
7/19/21, 2:15 PM – LawyerSB: <Media omitted>
7/19/21, 2:21 PM – D: Thank you, sure thing!
7/19/21, 2:23 PM – LawyerSB: thank you!
7/19/21, 2:28 PM – D: 👍🏼
I remember crowds outside the hospital lined up to get the vaccine—everyone in masks. I did not know what to expect to see because, in the hospital, the experience was so creepy, mean, and scary. Outside just seemed chaotic, nothing like what I remembered before.
When I got home, I asked Daniel for paper and a pen to write down what had happened to me. I told him everything, and he just sat and listened. I drew diagrams and wrote down everything. The writing was challenging, and my writing was shaky because I still had tremors.
When I finished, it was 2:00 am. Daniel had gotten a member of Maria´s family to help rent an oxygen machine. I showered, attached the cannula, turned on the device, and fell asleep.